Merry Christmas, everyone, from your friendly neighborhood Jew/atheist!!
..............
.... Eheh.......
.............
I DON'T CARE WHAT MY RELIGION IS, I FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME.
All the lights and hot chocolate and space heaters and warm-hearted people~
I love it~ ^^

I didn't really get any gifts this year (aside from some reeeally random ones from school friends I barely know, as well as on month premium membership from , who is totally SEXEH), but that's okay 'cause my mum took me to see WICKED~ (Although she counted it as a birthday gift... for.... last year.... Probably 'cause she said she'd take me, but never had time to.... Dunno. WHATEVER.)

In all her spontaneousness, last night, she was all, "HEY KIBI WANNA GO SEE WICKED TOMORROW?!"
And I was all, ""
And she was all, ""

Sooooo yeah. That was pretty much how it was decided.

Anyways....
So we really didn't have any plan... We were just like, "LOL OKAI WE'LL SEE THE MATINEE", which, of course, was pretty much sold out by the time we got to San Francisco.


So I'm standing in line feeling pissy....
My mum talking to random strangers... Including a guy who looked EXACTLY like the guy from Trolls 2.
This guy--->
I was half expecting him to go, "No more tickets? OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD."

LAWLZ.

Anyways, we ended up buying scalped tickets.
YUP. SCALPED TICKETS. FOR LESS MONEY THAN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.
And the scalper was a beautiful man with beautiful teeth. WHUT.

So my mum buys the tickets from this weird scalper guy, right? And then she starts freaking the fuck out about how the tickets might be fake and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, I'm all, "Dude. Probably should have thought of that before you bought the tickets."

Turns out the tickets worked perfectly, and were actually tickets about four rows away from the stage. IN THE CENTER.
IT WAS PERFECT. We had the best seats in the house!

I totally love weird beautiful scalper man.

ANYWAYSSSSSS......

Wicked was simply amazing....
I honestly have nothing bad to say about it. The singing was beautiful (more emotional than the CD versions), the costumes were expertly made (I especially love the flying monkeys, with those amazing retractable wings.... Next year's Halloween costume for me, I THINK SO!!!), the sets were engaging pieces of eye candy (OH MY GOD THE TIME DRAGON CLOCK OH MY GOD. As well as the background dancers in the Emerald City sequences~), and the story is as meaningful as ever...

Also, the actors and actresses were really good at maintaining eye contact, which I thought was amazing. It felt like they were actually looking at me... It was crazy, and I couldn't help but smile through the whole show. (I was exhausted afterwards, eheh...)

Afterwards, my mum bought me a t-shirt that says "I Oz", but the heart is made of Glinda and Elphaba. ^^
I LOVE IT ALREADY AND AM TOTALLY GONNA WEAR IT TO SCHOOL AND BRAG ABOUT IT BLAAAARRRGH.

Now then....
What exactly can I do with this premium membership that Maeyu was so kind to give me....?

Fella: YOU CAN MAKE POLLS.

Me: Yeah, uhhh.... What do I even write a poll about...? >_<

Fella: Errrr..... You don't get that annoying message that says "You need a premium membership"!!

Me: Now that's something I'd pay for. ^^

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!!
AND HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-~* CLUBS *~-

So you guys are familiar with my puppy Nana, yes?
Yeah.

Well, I went home early today due to a stomach virus (Uck.), so I was studying while my mum (who is on vacation from work for a while) was cleaning the house.

So I'm sitting on my bed, shoes off, reading my history textbook, and my mum is like, "LOL I'm gonna vacuum the car, so I'll leave the door open and pull the cords outside LAAAAAWWWWWLZ."
And I'm like, "Okay..." totally dazed and not really paying attention...

And I see Nana go by, like she's in some sort of hurry.
So I'm like, "Watcha doin', Nanapants?"

And she RUNS OUT THE OPEN FUCKING DOOR.
And I'm on the bed like, " OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"

So I shout to my mum that Nana has ESCAPED THE HOUSE, and my mum is like, "OMG KIBI DO SOMETHIIIIIIIIING", and I'm like, "FUCKING GREAT."

And so I leap out of bed faster than I normally would be able to, and start SPRINTING AFTER MY STUPIDASS DOG while she starts running the streets. Remind you, I'm WEARING NO SHOES.

So Nana first trots casually to the end of the block, and I'm behind her all, "NANA NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" She looks around to see me, and STARTS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME, EXPECTING ME TO CHASE HER. SHIIIIIIIIIIIT.

So she gets to the corner and walks right across the crosswalk to the next block, past a bunch of cars waiting in line for an opening in the traffic. So here's this HUGE white dog running across the road followed by a deranged-looking teenager in nice school clothes, but wearing no shoes. Naturally, all the people in their cars were like, "LOL WTF."

So I get close to Nana, and she breaks free of my grasp, making me stumble and lose my grip on her collar, and allowing her to get even more distance between us.

Then she RUNS DOWN THE WHOLE FRACKING STREET, me FOLLOWING HER AT EQUAL SPEEDS, screaming at her to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

At some point, she got sidetracked and was like, "Oooooohhhhh, a house~" and went over into some random yard to try and break in.
Thankfully, the person's gate was locked, trapping Nana in the alleyway.

The weirdest thing was that once she realized she couldn't go any further, Nana turned around, gave me this adorable gaze that seemed to say, "Oh hi, Master~ Didn't see ya there~", and then walked right into my arms.

I got her by the collar and pulled her home, and she didn't resist.
WTF.
My mum was running to meet us, and was like, "HOLY CRAP YOU GOT HER THAT WAS AMAZZZZIIIIIIIING," and I was all, "NO BIG DEAL. Now take me home so I can PUKE MY BRAINS OUT."

SOYEAH.
Eventful day FTW.
----------------------------------
IN OTHER NEWS~~~

I HAVE A COSPLAY GROUP ZOMG~ *twirls around happily*
It's a Kingdom Hearts-themed group, but we'll probably do more cosplays as we hang out more.
Our Xion, one of my new super-talented school buddies (SHE'S A PRODIGY FOR SRS) has a video recorder and knows how to edit film, so we'll be doing skits and everything~

It's extremely exciting for me, and I hope that some of you watchers out there will pay our future YouTube account a visit once we start posting skits~ ^^
I'll post photographs and stuff here, but the skits will probably be the main attraction.

We all live in the Sacramento area, and thus will go mainly to SacAnime, but most of us will start showing up at cons further away, like in San Diego or San Francisco, so if you want to join, or have any questions about joining or anything, drop me an email at KibiKon@hotmail.com.

~CHARACTERS TAKEN~
KH2 Sora (She's my other~~ )
Xion (She has a dA account, according to her, but SHE WON'T SEND IT TO ME. GAH.)
Twilight Town Roxas (Me~ )
Axel ( MUCH LOVE~ We're willing to do AkuRoku, MMYES~)
Namine ( MUCH LOVE AGAIN~ We're also wiling to do Namixas, MMYESSSSSS~)
Kairi (By someone Axel knows... I'm unfamiliar with her. )
Tifa (though this is not affirmed, by BFF Emo-kun shall be forced to provide~)

I'm also hoping to FINALLY figure out how to make, or get the money and means to buy an Organization XIII coat, so I can cosplay Organization Roxas, as well as Demyx (or Larxene if Demyx doesn't work out).

COSPLAY OMG~~
And, of course, if you're planning on going to SacAnime in January, TELL MEEEEEE. And keep an eye out for us~

Soul: You're really conceited when it comes to cosplay.

Me: AM NOT... Wait, what do you even mean?

Soul: You're an attention hog at all the conventions...

Me: AM NOT.

Soul: Are too.

Me: Yeah, well I'm rubber, you're glue!!

Soul: No. You're stupid and I'm cool. T_T

Me: That wasn't even a good comeback!! DDD:

Roxas: THIS WEIRDO FANGIRL STOLE MY CLOTHES HALP MEEEHHHHH.
-----------------------------------------------
DID YOU GUYS READ THE NEWEST CHAPTER OF SOUL EATER?!!!


CRONA'S BEEN....

BRAINWASHED!!!!
DUN DUN DUN!!!


And she has three arms.
And totally STILL HAS NO GENDER.
OH, OHKUBO.

And what the hell was that last page even supposed to be?
There's an image of Medusa about to be decapitated and a hand... But I can't friggin' tell if the hand is reaching out to HER, or to the AUDIENCE. It's drawn rather confusingly...
I also hear that the blackness on the hand is black blood, but it really doesn't look like blood... More like plain old shadows.
Your thoughts, beloved watchers of mine?

Also....
BlackStar's penis.

That is all.

Axel: Roxas, is that a Keyblade in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Roxas: NO. JUST NO. *summons both Keyblades*

Axel: Ooh, I bet you're good at double penetration~

Roxas: S-STOP BEING GROSS.

Kibi's Brain: KU KU KU KU KU....
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-~* CLUBS *~-

Yes, sidestepping my last extremely depressing journal... with another Kingdom Hearts meme!
My last journal was pretty pathetic, when I'm looking back at it... My mum is no longer mad at me, and I know she didn't mean to tear apart my feelings like that... I was kinda being a crybaby anyway.

So if you've got this journal in your counter box and want to ignore my last one, go ahead and read this one instead. I actually think it might be enjoyable to read. (I tried to be funny, eheh...)

Thanks to everyone that commented though; you guys really helped me through that difficult day.

So... ONWARD TO THE MOOD CHANGE!!!
------------------------------
MEME

1. The first character you fell in love with:
-- Roxas. Foxy Roxy~

2. The character you never expected to love as much as you do now:
-- Demyx. I had viewed all the fan hype about him before getting into the series, and was like, "WTF, he only has, like, three minutes of sceentime in the game..." After actually playing the game and learning more about him (as well as watching all the episodes of Demyx Time on YouTube), I kinda was added to that heap of fangirls.

3. The character everyone else loves that you don’t [like as much]:
-- Riku. I really don't get it. Well, actually... from my years of experience as a Narutard, I'd say he has Sasuke-itis: the traitor that gives into the DAAAAAAARK SIDE and is constantly the ONE THING on the main character's mind... Yeah. I think I got that right. However, I do find Riku tolerable. Sasuke... Not so much.

4. The character you love that everyone else hates:
-- Xion. DDD: THE YAOI FANGIRLS ARE SEXIST AGAINST GIRLS!!! AHHHHHH. But seriously... I swear that the only real reason people give for hating Xion is that "SHE'S A COCKBLOCK OF AXEL AND ROXAS" or "OMG A MARYSUUUUEEEEE". And I'm over here like, "B-but she's such a tragic character and is actually LIKABLE BAAAWWWWWW...." And if anything, I think she HELPED AkuRoku's progression due to Axel's jealousy toward her when she seems to be hogging Roxas' attention. I mean... Don't be haters, guys. DDD:

5. The character you would shag anytime:
-- Well, I'm only 15... BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY SEXUAL ESCAPADES!!! AHAHHAAH. Answer: Roxas. BECAUSE I LOVE HIM BAAAAWWWWW. Also maybe Axel... Because he's totally a SEX GOD (). And also Demyx... 'Cause he'd... be gentle and stuff.
......... I feel so dirty. DDD:

6. The character you'd want to be like:
-- I would say Roxas due to my IMMENSE LOVE FOR HIM, but his life totally sucks so (LOL SORRY ROXAS)... Probably Xemnas. 'Cause I'd then be totally BADASS and half the Organization would be my bitches. Yus.

7. The character you'd slap:
-- ANSEM THE WISE LAWLZ. Also Riku just a tiny bit... Though they'd probably kill me afterwards...

8. A pairing that you love:
-- RikuxXion. Psh.

9. A pairing that you despise:
-- In my last KH meme-related journal, I said I didn't really despise any pairings... However, whilst surfing the internet, I found that the pairing I dislike the most is RoxasxOlette. It just seems so... weird to me. I don't even know why. It just... Eugh. SHE'S NOT EVEN REAL!!! (No spoiler there... You guys should know this by now.)

10. Favorite character:
-- ROXAS. UMPH.

11. What are your five favourite things about the fandom.
-- (In no particular order...)
1) The fact that the fans can come up with such marvelously twisted pairings without end
2) HAWT DOODS FO SHO
3) the extremely clever and complex storylines of the games
4) the lovable characters (SEXEH MENS TOO)
5) the gameplay that seems to never get boring for me (AND I ONLY OWN ONE GAME HURR HURR)

12. What are your five least favourite things about the fandom.
-- 1) the RAGING FANS that shove KH down people's throats (that makes people like it LESS, guys)
2) SEXISM (the capable females all DIE)
3) THE GAMEPLAY OF CoM
4) some of the Disney storylines (the Alladin one bored me SO EFFING MUCH)
5) some scenes that just scream "MAKE YAOI OF US" (You guys know what I'm talking about...)

13. Who are your five favourite characters (in order!)?
-- Oh geez...
1) ROXAS~
2) Xion
3) Larxene
4) Demyx
5) Sora
BAW. NO ROOM FOR VEXEN OR AXEL?! DDD:

14. Who are your five four least favourite characters.
-- Again... OH GEEZ...
1) Ansem the Wise (OMG STFU)
2) Riku (Sorry man. I just don't like you very much.... Unless you're with Xion. You seem nicer there.)
3) Kairi (I know, I know...)
4) Ansem (Yeeeeeaaaahhhh...)
5) Saix (I ADORE fan representations of him, but in my game... not so much.)

15. What are your five favourite pairings.
-- 1) RikuxXion
2) RoxasxNamine
3) SoraxKairi
4) MarluxiaxLarxene (though LarxenexAxel is quite hawt as well...)
5) XemnasxSaix OR AxelxDemyx (DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.)

16. What are your five least favourite pairings.
-- 1) RoxasxOlette
2) RikuxKairi (I dunno, maybe it just scares me 'cause it's against my favorite pairings and could totally be possible. Best friend loves best friend's girl? Totally possible.)
3) KairixAxel (I just don't see it...)
4) NaminexMarluxia (Just... Ew.)
5) XaldinxLexaeus (Beefy man with beefy man... It's like wrestling. *shudders*)

17. Which character are you most like.
-- In the last KH journal I said Sora, due to my ways of being the goofy, good-natured friend that tries to bring happiness to the group (though I'm not nearly as successful as Sora...), as well as my constant one-mindedness. But I think I have some Roxas in me due to my pessimism and moodiness.

18. What is your deep, dark fandom secret.
-- I think I've told you everything, Great God of Memes... However... I think the darkest would have to be that I was able to imagine having sex with characters of a child's video game in order to answer a question here... And that I totally have awakened some strange inner yaoi fangirl. How odd.
-----------------------------------
OH MAI.
NOW THAT WAS RAUNCHY, EH?!

Soul: .......

Maka: .......

Me: ............. EH?!

Soul & Maka: AH!!

Me: No not "AH", "EH"!!

Maka: Sorry, it's just... You're... back?

Me: What do you mean? I've been back for AGES.

Soul: You haven't spoken to us AT ALL. DDD:

Me: Oh. My bad. Hi, Soul~ *pats his head*

Soul: Ergh. Yo.

Bikix: I'M SO EFFING DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME!!!!

Me: That's what you get for existing.

Bikix: *sob*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-~* CLUBS *~-

Well, hello, depression. It's been a while, you persistent hag.

So...
I was feeling really upset today.
It's Thanksgiving break, but I can't seem to find any way to spend it in a good way, and I never do. So I got really excited when one of my new friends decided to come over on Sunday. She told me she'd be coming over a few times to help me with my Roxas cosplay.

So she came over on Sunday, and it was really fun...
We got a wig, started working on it, and made sea salt ice cream.

Now to a bit of background...
I sometimes feel really depressed, as many of you know. Sometimes I just can't explain it, and usually it's because when something bad happens, my emotions are exaggerated. It all started last year, because of stress caused by school.
Recently, my mom started taking me to a psychiatrist, who put me on antidepressants.

They really seemed to help, and I've been in an extremely good mood for the past few weeks.

Until today, of course.

So my new friend told me she'd come over today, so I got up early and stuff, and my mom decided that I should take the written portion of my driving test.

So I study and study...
And the friend never calls me to give a time or anything. There's no explanation or anything.

So I continue studying my drivers' manual, feeling sadder and sadder...
And feeling like I'm completely wasting my vacation time...

And my mom comes home to pick me up and take me to the DMV.
She gets me to the car, and she's starting it up, and I say something like, "I don't feel like I'm going to do well..."
What I'm looking for is encouragement or a bit of sympathy...

She gets visibly angry, and is all, "Your feelings don't matter. It's a test. Did you study?!" And I'm like, "Yeah, of course I studied..."

And she suddenly snaps, "GET OUT OF THE CAR."
So I do, and she drives off, saying, "You're a fucking disappointment," out the window.

I know she hates it when I get upset, but is that really any way to react? And she does this all the time as well... I'm a teenager. I need to vent. I need to talk about what I'm feeling.
I hate it when I have to resort to writing about my feelings on an internet site to people I'll most likely never meet in real life when I should be talking to my mom.
And I could talk to my psychiatrist, but only my mom has her number (for some reason...).

I just don't know what to do...
I was supposed to be having fun and hanging out with my new friends this vacation...
Now I'm just spending it talking about how sad I feel...

What the fuck is wrong with me...?
I need to find my psychiatrist's number...